Winking Eye, Alcohol Suggestion

A word on surgery and narcotics.

First off, if you happen to be female and have had a kid, I don't want to hear it. I'm sure it's awful and I'm sure I will never be able to relate. I had surgery last week. The doctor made it sound like it wasn't going to be anything serious, however in the end I still feel like I got stabbed in the gut and run over by a truck. In all fairness, this was my first time as a patient in a hospital so I'm not sure what I was expecting. Well, I take that back. What I was expecting was some time in a humiliating hospital gown, some pain, and a day or two of rest. I hadn't taken into account the hours of waiting, the general anesthesia, the myriad of nurses with different and often conflicting instructions, nor the narcotics (which I might add are pretty amazing). Post surgery I'm looking at a around a month of recovery. Recovery entails limping around and not lifting anything over five pounds. By the way, do you know what weighs more than five pounds, EVERYTHING! I had the singular joy of taking my bandages off today which I had built up in my head to being something akin to the terror of opening a tube of Pillsbury crescent rolls. I would just keep pulling on the packaging until I eventually popped. Luckily that didn't happen. IV's, suck. Hospital gowns suck. Operation rooms, really suck. It pretty much felt like I had been wheeled in to a morgue. I've actually been healing pretty quick and all in all modern medicine is pretty amazing. I might actually try driving tomorrow!



This may surprise everyone (that is, everyone not in my family), but the Easter holiday is something I just don't get. Growing up I remember hunting Easter eggs a couple of times and possibly having a family Easter dinner a couple of other times. I do remember doing Easter activities in elementary school, but I honestly felt more like a Jehovah's Witness on Christmas. This was mostly due to the remarks I recall from family members saying things about eggs and bunnies are not how you celebrate Easter. In fact, I remember thinking one year that Mormons don't celebrate Easter. This all was brought home again after watching my uncle's new family celebrating Easter like it's a second Christmas; new outfits, presents (big ones), candy out the yin-yang, big dinners, etc... In my adult years I've taken the stance that extravagant Easters are silly. (Mostly because I have to have something to say when people ask what I'm doing for Easter.) Why do you need presents, you don't have to go to hell, that's your present, Happy Easter! My married siblings all spend Easter with their in-laws and that leaves me eating some vaguely Mexican-themed dinner wondering what holiday it is that everybody keeps referencing.