Why I Like Quails Above Other Fowl

Birds.......what obnoxious things they are. As far as I'm concerned they are no better than large bugs. Birds make noise, they fly around, and they crap on my car. The last on the preceding list of offenses is probably the most aggravating. Now I do get a certain amount of joy in watching birds do what they do, just as I enjoy watching an insect do whatever it does. It's more of a curiosity really. However, in general, birds annoy me. Now why can't birds take a lesson from their relative the quail. Quail are generally quiet, and are obsessed with try to keep out of sight. Most importantly, a quail has never defecated on my car. I'm seriously, what other beast in this world goes around dive bombing with their excrement. It's absurd! Yes, indeed. All birds should be more like quail.

Get a typewriter,.....nerd!

Okay, as I write this I am fully aware that someone (probably my grandma who is far more computer savy than myself) will scream foul and call me a caveman, but hear me out. Something has gotten lost in our new digital world, perhaps even a lot of things have been lost. In our world of instantly correct, delete, erase, and start over people have some how lost the notion that what the say, do, and/or step in has an affect on the world around them. Conversation has become flippant and senceless as we communicate through text messages to our BFF's instead of actually talking to them. We plug in our ipods and surround ourselves with music of our own choosing, refusing to listen to anything that we have not preselected. It is entirely possible to surround ourselves in a digital cocoon of our own construction; effectively blocking out our exposure to ,quite nearly, anything that may be new and/or different. You can even block out the birds and anything else as you walk to wherever it is you're going. Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring" is not going to brought about by pesticides (mostly thanks to the enviromental nut jobs) but by technology. Guys in particular, being able to run an exel spreadsheet is no substitue for being able to successfully run your own lawnmower or change a tire. The modern day "nerd" is not the new "do it yourself-er". I say quit insulating yourself from life. It takes time to learn to enjoy a good piece of music by Charles Mingus. Take a look (and listen) to what's going on around you. Get out the old typewriter and throw your correction tape to the four winds. Mistakes happen, and you need to start taken responsibility for the ones you make.

True Colours (because it looks fancy)

There was a time in my life were I was looking into buying a BMW. It was nothing new, but it was a BMW nonetheless. I eventually decided against buying the car because I had come to the conclusion that I just wasn't a "BMW Person". I'm sure you are well acquainted with the type of "person" to which I am referring. They wear pants whose purchase price was comprised of three digits, they wear knock-offs of expensive sunglasses (because they lose them all the time), their taste in food is dictated soly by the price, and they love to give rides to people (so people can be informed that they do drive a BMW without them having to inform them verbally). Having been a staunch Volkswagen supporter since at least the age 5, I decided that even though this car was wonderful (because I am an appreciative conessuire and not a self indulgent wiener) I would pass it up and stick to VW's. After 5 years of driving VW's another one of these particular models of BMW came up for sale in the area where I attend college. I made the mistake of taking a test drive and it called to me. In consequence of it's siren song, I decided that, pricks aside, I had to buy this car. I did and it was glorious. Not only was it breath taking, but it came equipped with a refrigerated martini cooler in the back seat. It was the epitome of German driving fun. It was also an ego inflating ride and it drove me to do things like buy more expensive pants, look to get married, and start offering rides to people. To make a long story short, the pants wore out quickly, the marriage idea didn't pan out, the people I gave rides to began to annoy me, and the car quit working (all at about the same time). So, I returned to my roots. I went to the small, one car garage downtown and I got out my trusty 1974 VW Bug, and I went to California for a few months. This past weekend the BMW (which still doesn't work) found a new owner and I have began my hunt for my second, second car (most definitely a VW,....or a station wagon). You see, even though I decided that a BMW is just not for me until I can hid it in a garage and make it a dirty little secret, I decided that I thoroughly enjoyed having a collection of cars (a dream that I have harbored since I was......5 years old). My pants now cost no more than $20.00, I don't give rides, and marriage will come as it sees fit. I happy ending by all accounts.

"That's a nice tiger,...he looks proud."

This month's meeting of the WVVW Club (Wasatch Vintage Volkswagen) was a little sparse, but well attended considering it had snowed 4-6 in. and the temperature was hovering somewhere around 20 degrees. I think there was a total of 6 cars. The owner of that recently, perfectly restored '64 double cab (a.k.a. the white truck) braved the moisture and salt to show off his new toy. I actually won $5.00 because of the snow that day. I pulled my car into a particularly snow clogged parking spot. When I got out the kid who pulled in next to me told me that I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting back out of that spot. I thanked him but I replied that I wasn't going to have any trouble getting out. He bet me $5.00 and I took him up on it. I then collected my $5.00 and told him that they use VW bugs in Antarctica. You just can't beat a VW bug. I haven't been in the club for too long, but I've been going to their monthly meetings off and on since 2002. It's always nice to get together once in awhile with some people who have a similar complex as you. After all, isn't that what clubs are all about.

Returning behind the Zion Curtian

Two days down...... After a very short break I am happy to report that I am back at school. I hadn't really signed up for my classes until yesterday, but my class schedule has worked out beautifully. I was even able to get away with a pretty cheap text book bill thanks to some creative text book borrowing and some willing friends. The semester looks like it is going to turn out pretty good. As for my vacation: I spent most of it on the road; some of it Mesa, AZ; some more of it in Logandale, NV; and the remainder of it at home. The nicest thing about Arizona were the sunny 60 degree days. All of the vacation was spent with lots of family, I even got to talk with my brother who is on a mission in southern Florida. I also attended a homecoming, a wedding (with all of the reception and whatnots), and a birthday. It has almost been nice to get back to my relatively quiet apartment in happy valley. The VW continues to run well and work about the same.

Why can't they see.

All I really need is something to carry my crap (all of it, as I hate making trips) and tow my cantankerous fleet of aged German vehicles around. Sure, perhaps more sensible people would slap down a few thousand for a decade old urban assault vehicle, or even get rid of the armada of old cars and buy a Honda and down size the crap. I find my solution even more appealing (logically). I think a large station wagon from the mid 1960's would do nicely. I am envisioning something with sharp edges, you know, something a pedestrian could become impelled on if I were to back up too quickly. Of course, I think a vehicle with a prow on it would make driving amongst the common people (lemmings plunging into the street, morons on cell phones, and the overly aged) a lot easier. I need something that just by the mere act of looking at it will activate peoples' "fight or flight" instincts. So far, my dream has only met with very tepid enthusiasm if not obvious disgust. They will be sorry, they will all be sorry.